Arrivals, departures and blessings ...

There are many people in our circle of friends moving on from Geneva at the moment. Fortunately there are also others arriving but for now the round of leaving parties is in swing.
I am not good at such events, not clever at saying good bye and not great at keeping in touch with folk.
Today a leaving colleague kissed me goodbye and smiled gently at me. She offered me lovely affirming words about the importance of the work of translation and told me what her memory of me was ... I realised afterwards that I had been blessed in a very special way. My friend promised to pray for me and asked also for prayers herself ... a reciprocity of need and dependency on Anne Lamott's "whatever" and "ah well" ... ahh prayer ...
And I recognised within myself as so often my ability to be moved in my mind and yet somehow never let the consolation of such blessing touch the depths of my spirit. Why am I so resistant to letting myself be consoled, do I believe I don't deserve balm?