Not the mystery of suffering

I don't believe in the mystery of suffering. I do believe in raging and campaigning against suffering; listening and simply being with those who are suffering - when and if that's possible. Talk about the "mystery" of suffering often belies some strange religious idea that suffering is good for us, redemptive or "God's megaphone to rouse a deaf world".
Life without suffering is not possible, nor is it life. Of course we search for reasons when difficult or even terrible things happen, but imbuing those things with dubious religious meaning doesn't do humanity much good.
These reflections come courtesy of my wintertime tonsilitus, which was painful and left me rather delirious with fever for a while and worried for a while longer. For people with MS, fever and viral overload increase the risk of the scar tissue (or plaques) in the brain or spinal cord inflaming to cause (in my case) some temporary paralysis. The most difficult part of this for me is learning to be a little bit good and accept it wouldn't be a good idea to go and see another several hundred people in the freezing cold tonight. So far no problems - phew. However, dealing with these issues does not make more holy, nor give me a more direct line to God. And when I'm in pain it's not been redemptive so far - more likely to be peppered with rather more tears and swearing than usual.
Meanwhile in many, many parts of the world far too many people don't even have access to paracetemal or asprin to calm ordinary aches and pains, let alone clean water to take decent, free medecine with. Surely their unnecessary suffering calls us to act for more justice, more equity and more sharing and not to meditate a dubious mystery. Something to ponder and act on in the new year maybe.

Fragile democracy

Particularly with the news this week from Pakistan and Kenya, I've been thinking about how fragile democracy or good governance is. Repression in Burma continues, Zimbabwe remains on the critical list and news from Iraq, Afghanistan or Darfur is hardly heartening.
For me something began to go wrong with perceptions about democracy when the voting irregularities in Florida during the US presidential elections in 2000 were not properly resolved or challenged. How to raise any real sense of concern about the current situation in Kenya when people can just shrug and say "well look at Florida". The war on Iraq having been waged on a supposedly pro-democracy ticket doesn't help cynicism about the democratic process either.
Countries need not only good political structures but also strong political cultures to support reputable local and national governance. Part of that culture is about building consensus but part of it is also about having a strong opposition and real space for debate within society.

The colour of trust is red

Throughout Geneva, neighbouring France and into the neighbouring Swiss canton of Vaud, many of the local churches have been decorated in red and orange, the colours of the Taizé community's pilgrimage of trust. The pictures above are from this Sunday in the Temple of Ferney Voltaire with Pastors Bernard Millet and Anne Coidan celebrating. Following the service all the participants were invited to a meal at the Roman Catholic Church just 100 metres down the road.
Although the local churches have sometimes found it quite a challenge to respond to the needs of the Taizé meeting, the positive fruits of the effort and prayer can already be seen within and between church communities. Perhaps sometimes in the churches we don't dare enough to go beyond the routine of what we're used to.You can read about some of the preparations here.
We didn't go to Palexpo for the evening service with over 40,000 young people from over 70 countries (unfortunately the colour of my tonsils is also deep red with my fever well in the red too!), but we watched the service on Eurovision. As always with Taizé the music was beautiful and simple with soaring solo counterpoints to the chants. I was also impressed by the brevity of the intercessory prayers - we sometimes try to cram too much theology and preaching into our prayers and forget that they are not lectures but prayers.

Taizé English

Yesterday afternoon we helped welcome some of the 40,000 young people gathering in Geneva for the 30th European Taizé meeting.
Brother Rob was speaking about prayer in the chapel of the ecumenical centre in the afternoon. Meanwhile Rev Setri Nyomi and Rev Chandran Paul Martin were leading Bible study on breaking the chains of injustice in the main meeting hall of the ecumenical centre.
Brother Rob began his talk by saying he would speak in "Taizé English" which made me smile, we often talk about using "ecumenical English" in international church circles so it's good to know we're not the only ones who have this problem.
I was impressed by the simplicity with which the interpretation was organised and the way in which the two speakers spoke in simple phrases helping the consecutive interpretation work well. But what impressed me most was the calmness and attentiveness of the more than 300 young people and also that so many of them chose to stay to pray and meditate in silence. The message about prayer was easy to understand without being simplistic. It helped me reflect on the link between prayer and decision-making and also to think again about how to link work and prayer when not living in a community like Taizé or Grandchamps.

Family festivities and musings about the right tune

By popular family demand we looked for an English-speaking service on Christmas Eve and all went by bus up into the old town in Geneva, past the frozen outdoor chess players in the Parc des Bastions where the Reformation wall is. Nine lessons and carols was on at 17.00 at the Cathedral but we went to the rather less traditional service at the English-speaking Evangelical Lutheran Church. We even sang a carol in Japanese. I rather enjoyed it - in fact I still tend to appreciate worship anyone else has gone to the effort of putting together.
However one of the problems of going to any service with a professional musician and a few liturgists is picking over the entrails afterwards. Was the liturgical dance rather too long? What is the right tune to Away in a Manger or (and more importantly) It Came upon a Midnight Clear? Another divide I fear between the USA and the UK. We had similar problems yesterday with two professional museum managers dissecting the problems with the exhibition at the REd Cross museum (if you have the guided tour these probelms don't really occur).
On Christmas morning I returned to my former parish to worship for the first time since I left as the minister there five years ago. The "Temple" - yes honestly that is what French Protestant churches are called - had been beautifully decorated in preparation for the Taizé crowds who will arrive tomorrow in Geneva and there was glorious singing and music from the organ loft. And of course we sang the French words to the right tunes - thankfully I know of no French translation to Away in a Manger.
More mundanely the French health system has been supplying antibiotics to members of the family as they fell ill - so now we'll try to discover how to go about getting the reimbursements sorted out.

Joyeux Noel

Ferney-Voltaire at Christmas

So much for living more simply...

Yesterday on the shortest day of the year my Mother and Brother arrived. I went to the hairdressers and learnt more than I ever wanted to know know about how things are "at home in the Elysée palace with Nicholas Sarkozy". I don't find reading Paris Match very edifying, but some of my colleagues in the French Reformed Church are so convinced that it helps them to keep a finger on the pulse of what people are thinking that they buy it every week. Ah well.
Today we have shopped at the Ferney Christmas market and the supermarket. And our guests have helped us tidy up, throwing out a large number of empty wine boxes after a sortie into our garage to find some kitchen furniture. The neighbours were impressed at the provenance and quantity of the cardboard filling up the recycling bay. A visit to the tip will have to preceed the arrival of Stephen's family tomorrow.
In the meantime unlike Tony Blair I won't be converting to Catholicism before Christmas. It gives religious news watchers something to ponder on. I shall meditate on how this year once more I have not been living much of that simpler lifestyle, there's a call to conversion.

The O antiphons

Christmas cards have started arriving. So far I have managed to write one to our cleaners (who are secular Muslims) and two for my closest colleagues at work. I think that will have to do, I'm beginning to feel less and less guilty about not sending cards as the years go by. I do rather miss not doing my own but hey there will be other opportunites to express myself creatively I'm sure.
Anyway Peter and Sheila Brain sent us a great card, with a riddle and the promise of a Christmas letter inside, which was not a newsletter but the letter O. Very clever.
Anyway the message was simply "O give thanks" and a web address for more information about the great advent antiphons. And from that address you can get to some calligraphic interpretations of the various themes of the antiphons and of course the cyberhymnal plays you the tune.
And here's the riddle:

My first is in manger
but not in stable;
My second's in gospel
but not in fable;
My third is in Shepherds
but not in kings;
My fourth is in people
but not in things;
My whole is en français:
the world reconciled
in the glory and peace of a God-given child.

This O business reminds me of a Christmas sermon I once preached six times in 24 hours in various skiing stations in Savoy. No Christmas dinner that year just a stand up pizza in the only place still open opposite the unheated church. I won't bore you with the sermon, though O was the point - my driver (husbands have their uses) can still recite it. Probably the only thing worse than having to preach the same sermon 6 times on Christmas day is having to listen to the same sermon six times!

Julia Esquivel - the Word

The following text is from Julia Esquivel's "Threatened with resurrection" - seems like a good title as we prepare for the feast of the incarnation. With thanks to colleagues at WSCF who feature part of it on their simple black and white Christmas card this year.

The Word, for our sake, became poverty clothed as the poor who live off the refuse heap.
The Word, for our sake, became a sob a thousand times stifled in the immovable mouth of the child who died from hunger.
The Word, for our sake, became danger in the anguish of the mother who worries about her child growing into adulthood.
The Word cut us deeply in that place of shame: the painful reality of the poor.
The Word blew its spirit over the dried bones of the churches, guardians of silence.
The Word awoke us from the lethargy which had robbed us of our hope.
The Word became a path in the jungle, a decision on the farm, love in women, unity among workers, and a Star for those few who can inspire dreams.

The Word became Light,
The Word became History,
The Word became Conflict,

The Word became indomitable Spirit, and sowed its seeds upon the mountain, near the river and in the valley,
and those of good will heard the angels sing.
Tired knees were strengthened, trembling hands were stilled, and the people who wandered in darkness saw the light...
The Word became the seed of justice and we conceived peace...
The Word made justice to rain and peace came forth from the furrows in the land.
And we saw its glory in the eyes of the poor transformed into real men and women.
And those who saw the Star opened up for us the path we now follow.

Taizé coming to Geneva in just 8 days

As we get ready to stop work and celebrte Christmas Geneva is getting ready for the arrival of over 30,000 young people for the 30th annual European meeting. Even if you haven't got floor space to lodge some of the young people then you can still invite them to join you for a meal on January 1st. You can still sign up to offer lodgings and a meal.
Prayer and Bible study will be held at various places throughout the city, including the ecumenical centre chapel. Calvin's city won't be quite so sleepy over the holdays this year.
The main Taizé website provides wonderful resources in many languages.

The Lord lifts up those who are bowed down

This morning we read the meditation written by Nyambura Njoroge in the EAA advent calender. When she invites prayers of thanksgiving for Africa's grandmothers caring for so many she speaks from experience. Many of our African colleagues have lost family members in the HIV and AIDS pandemic.
When I hear the figures of death from disease, from war, from famine and poverty I'm left wondering just how much grief individuals can bear. And we read the crazy religious hope in the Psalms that there will somewhere be comfort for the broken hearted and a lifting-up for those bowed down by grief and toil and poverty ...

Local food for the family flying in...

Well as the end of year deadlines loom large at work and home, I have at least managed to order a local turkey (well actually truth be told two - the local free range French ones are smaller than the hormone plumped up ones from the supermarket). I think I haven't cooked one for about 17 years. However this year I shall have my mum, my mother in law and my brother in law on hand to offer advice - I'm just not quite sure that there will be enough room for all of us in the kitchen.
I'm looking forward to my last day at work and going to the Ferney market to buy all the vegetables on Saturday, it's a lovely atmosphere and they even sell parsnips (panais in French, Petersilliewürzel in German) which is quite an innovation in France. I'm still not sure if they're available here because so many Brits live in our part of the world or because they are also a local delicacy in Switzerland.
Now I admit I'm not looking forwards to finally having to tidy the house. However we do need to move some things off the floor in order to sleep 8 people.

Advent light in the darkness

"The future will be different if we make the present different."
Peter Maurin
"The greatest challenge of the day is: how to bring about a revolution of the heart, a revolution which has to start with each one of us?"
Dorothy Day

Over the weekend I heard again the gospel passage about John the Baptist calling the Pharisees a brood of vipers. I also read as a break from proof-reading a little about the commitment to the poorest in our societies of Peter Maurin and Dorothy Day. And I felt very challenged for meanwhile at home champagne has been delivered and preparations for the feast with our families arriving from England ought to be underway. So much for living more simply.
This morning in chapel our three young interns danced an Eastern dance of light for us as we say goodbye to them. The person who took the you tube film had never done this before so the quality is not great, but the dance of light on a dark December morning spoke better than any wordy sermon. And we heard in various langauges the promise that "word became flesh". Tears will be shed as Beatrice, Ngu Wah and Sina return to Sudan, Burma and Germany. The liturgy they prepared can be found here.

The open door community - discovered thanks to proof reading

One of the ocassional joys of proof reading and preparing text for printing is finding yourself reading something you really enjoy or that simply moves you. So this afternoon I read an article by Murphy Davis, a Presbyterian from the US, who lives and works with the Open Door Community.
"The Open Door Community is a residential community in the Catholic Worker tradition (we’re sometimes called a Protestant Catholic Worker House!). We seek to dismantle racism, sexism and heterosexism, abolish the death penalty, and create the Beloved Community on Earth through a loving relationship with some of the most neglected and outcast of God’s children: the homeless and our sisters and brothers who are in prison."
You can read more about what they do by reading Hospitality which is the journal/newsletter Murphy Davis edits for the community. In the article I was proofing she wrote passionately about the need for prayer to be linked to action and "being", she also gave a moving example of how impossible prayer can be, how being confronted with the poorest and most excluded in society makes prayer as we've known it until then impossible. She also works with the Petra foundation for prisoners on death row in the US. There are some amazing people in the world. I'll try and say some more about what's she's written when I've finished with putting the red pen through some other papers!

Passionate about politics and without a vote

This Autumn saw the 16th anniversary of us living outside the UK. To be able to vote in UK parliamentary elections you must have been resident and on the electoral register in Britain no more than 15 years previously. I'm still a member of the Labour Party - yes I know boo hiss - though given the recent funding scandals and general mess I'm not sure how much longer overseas members will be able to continue having some kind of voice.
As an EU citizen I have a vote in local elections in France and also in Euopean elections but no say in national politics either here or in the country I have a passport for. I'm beginning to realise that I find this quite disabling. Campaigning politics was part of my life until we moved to Geneva. We've been away from Britain for all of the Labour years and now as it all goes pear-shaped I can almost not bear it. I still do not understand how a Labour government could have taken us to war in and with Iraq. The delusion of Mr Blair "I believe I did the right thing"... And yet where politics in my home country are concerned I am completely tribal. I suppose I might just manage to vote Green one day, or Lib-Dem perhaps but I could only consider voting Tory if it meant keeping the BNP out or something like that and even then I'd probably abstain. The sort of choice French voters faced in 2002 when Le Pen was up against Chirac for the presidentials, not quite sure what I'd have done if I'd had a vote, the French Evangelical Mennonite Church - where I was preaching on the morning of the second round vote - issued a strongly worded statement saying that Monsieur Le Pen's views were in complete contradiction with the message of the gospel and calling the faithful to vote.
Anyway on Friday we registered again at the Mairie in Ferney to vote for the municipal elections, next year I'll have a vote again. Of course those I vote for normally lose...

Looking forward to death...

Flicking through the copy of the New Statesman which arrived this morning I chanced on this quote "Death changes people. We have no idea who anyone is going to be until they die." It's by the playright David Hare in an article about the poet Ted Hughes. So I suppose that's something to look forward to, finally knowing who I was. Even if it's quite interesting in terms of a philosophy of the resurrection, it is rather a shame to not be around to reap the benefits of such knowledge!
The erstwhile prime minister of my country is obsessed with securing his legacy. He may not be dead but any legacy of his will have to be weighed up against piles of dead bodies in Iraq.
So rather than look forward to death or leave the import of my existence to others to cogitate after my central nervous system has shut down, I think I'll just concentrate on finding more meaning in life and allow myself more time to read - tonight a few very short pieces by Walter Benjamin in Kleine Kunst-Stücke. As I was flicking through it I got side tracked by an essay on why when travelling we don't take unread books from our shelves at home but always end up buying crime ficiton at the station. That made me realise that my epitaph will probably be "she was a great reader of pulp fiction". Typical too that I should find such a prosaic piece by so eminent a philosopher of interest (the book is a collection of his satires and short stories).

Swiss politics getting interesting

Over the past few days Swiss politics has been getting quite interesting. I need to be careful what I say because I just show my own pitiful ignorance about all things Swiss - well I do live in France and Geneva the city I work in used to an independant City state until 1815. Anyway, despite this being the land of consensus and referendum and things going on as before, the ghastly Christophe Blocher an extreme right wing politician has not been elected to the federal council and as a result his SVP has pulled out of the coalition. Read more about it in the Guardian. The cartoon here is a spoof version of the anti immigration posters Blocher's party used during the recent elections in Switzerland. Frightening, the richer we all get the more we worry about "losing" out to immigrants. Politics throughout Europe seems to be increasingly moving onto the fear of immigrants agenda. But who am I to talk, daughter of an immigrant in the country of my birth, an immigrant in the country where I live and a migrant worker in the country I work...

Time to read...

I've not had much chance to read since my trip to the UK, I'm lucky that my job often involves reading. Though just writing that in this advent season I realise that probably I spend alot of my time reading and writing emails, and much of the content is not exactly edifying! And I'm seriously considering re-writing the passage in Ecclesiastes with "there is a time to proof-read and a time to read." (proof reading being work and reading being pleasure of course!
As the end of year holidays approach I begin to dream of books I might be able to read. It's great to get ideas about new boks from others too, so I appreciated this piece by Bess Twiston Davis in TimesOnline about books that some well-known religious folk have been reading recently or are intending to get around to reading at the end of year break.
One of my favourite books of recent years has been Alberto Manguel's A History of Reading and I'm currently dipping in and out of his A Reading Diary before switching the light off at night. In my bag I have a book by Christian Lehmann called "Patients si vous saviez..." (Patients if only you knew...). It's subtitled confessions of a general practitioner and I'm really enjoying it on the days I go to work by bus. His life seems pretty frenetic and I just love the way he weaves together personal, ethical and professional reflections while railing against ridiculous administrative procedures and rules. It's good fun but get's me strange looks on the bus as I laugh out loud for no apparent reason.
So soon I really hope I'll have some time to read, like a whole day or two, so please if you've got any book suggestions let me know.