So, on Monday I preach about not letting go, about holding on to hope and today I see signs of the kingdom in learning to let go. Fortunately I like being spoken to in this sort of way, I don't see it as contradictory more as a form of counterpoint - like in a musical canon when opposing parts of music are sung against one another but actually create harmony not discord.
Letting go is not always easy for me. I'm a committed and passionate person, I enjoy work and people and details and words and systems and politics ... it's not always easy to step back and take time out. I'm not good at pacing myself.
In recent months I've been dipping in and out of Emilie Griffin's book Doors into Prayer and I keep coming back in recent days to this bit entitled letting go:
"Well-intentioned prayer is not a matter of striving for perfection. Because we have spent much of our lives trying to earn love, to qualify for approval, to deserve affection, we may now have to unlearn our usual assumptions. Now we must relax and let go, to be lifted on an ocean-swell of grace ... authentic prayer begins when we turn ourselves over to God ... this resting in God is not a matter of doing but of undoing."
"Well-intentioned prayer is not a matter of striving for perfection. Because we have spent much of our lives trying to earn love, to qualify for approval, to deserve affection, we may now have to unlearn our usual assumptions. Now we must relax and let go, to be lifted on an ocean-swell of grace ... authentic prayer begins when we turn ourselves over to God ... this resting in God is not a matter of doing but of undoing."
Thinking about letting go and how hard it is I've also been reading the journals of the Opawa kingdom bloggers, inspired by Steve Taylor's idea to open ourselves up to seeing signs of the kingdom. We are each very involved and tied up in our own lives, yet somehow being open to flutters of the kingdom in however small a way helps to open me up to other realities. It helps me both hold on and let go.
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