Saturday, 8 May 2010

Tears and feeling

I have been thinking alot about passion, deep-felt feeling, conviction and emotion in recent months. There are lots of reasons for this, as with most people there's been quite a lot going on in my life, not all of which gets written about here (fortunately!).
When I was at my middle school from age 10-12 I was very proud that I never cried at school - neither from physical or emotional pain. I'm really not sure where the idea came from that I should control my emotions, that it would be better not to cry in the public setting of my school, try to be "strong". I'm sure it wasn't a very healthy approach to life, somehow I must have been fearful of my emotions taking me over, of them being a separate power over me rather than part of me.
There are times today when I also wish that the red heat of emotion did not drive through me so clearly, but for the most part I just surf the roller coaster of emotional living. For women who have historically been seen as being over emotional it is particularly complex to walk the path of integrating emotions. Though perhaps for men the path is equally hard, as anger and aggression are more valued in their expression than other "softer" emotions.
Integrating our feeling and thinking is a challenge most of us face.

I've been reading through parts of John Bell's The Last Journey again this afternoon, looking for inspiration for some writing I need to do and I came across this prayer

What did they think, Lord, those who watched you cry
in front of women, in front of other men,
for your dead firend, or your favourite city?

Did they admire your tenderness having seen your toughness?
Were they disgusted by your tears and loss of self control?
Or were they drawn into your sorrow for the plight of the world and the pain of its people?

Help me to share the solidarity of your deep sorrow so that I can share in the certainty of your deeper joy.


visitor said...

Another powerful post!

Jane said...

Thanks for your comment